The Home Stretch

Today, I was able to get the final Saturday radiation treatment I needed in order to finish all 33 treatments by the end of the year. I will get three more treatments next week and the radiation portion of my treatment will be complete. As the weeks have gone on, the slight fatigue has stayed about the same, but the discomfort increased. What began as mild soreness, has grown into a sunburn-like irritation. There is also at times a sharp pain in the area the tumor was removed. Thankfully it doesn't last for more than a moment or two, but it too has become more frequent as the weeks progressed. The nurse I see weekly at the radiation center said this can last for up to a year and in rare cases doesn't go away. Only time will tell...

September 29th, the day I learned of my cancer, seems like so long ago. We have physically and emotionally come a long way since then. At the same time though, the time has gone fast. While I didn't feel like I had much time to process things and treatment options at the time, I feel good about the choices we made. I really was able to sort through some things emotionally along the way as well.

The next phase of treatment is five years of hormone therapy, which will involve taking tamoxifen daily for that time. There are some side affects that I'm not excited about, but I am choosing to focus on the blessings and not the costs. I will meet again with my medical oncologist Tuesday and will know more about the next steps then. I had also considered participating in a study involving taking a bone strengthening drug for three of the five years. After reading the material I was given and reading up on the drugs involved, I have decided against it. The side affects for the three drugs were pretty severe and I would definitely be on one of them. I concluded that the negatives outweighed the positives by too much and I didn't sense that this was something I was supposed to do.

The Lord has been so good to us. He has faithfully worked out each detail as we knew He would. As of January 1st I will be back on the group medical converage through Jim's employer that was flooded out. They aren't back to work, but since they haven't closed up or let employees go, that insurance is still available to us. I also cannot adequately express our deep gratitude for the outpouring of love we have experienced throughout these last couple of months. The loving care our family received has allowed us to focus on resting, healing and each other.

Today as I was traveling home from treatment it occurred to me that I will need to be careful not to forget the things I have discovered along the way. Unfortunately, it's so easy to forget. I get busy and once again let daily life rule the day rather than being intentional about my choices and where my heart is. I pray that the Lord will help me to both remember what I have learned and to continue on this road of being transformed into the likeness of Christ. I've come a long way, but there's so much more road to travel.

"The Word" by Sara Groves

I've done every devotional
Been everyplace emotional
Trying to hear a new word from God
And I think it's very odd
That while I intend to help myself
My Bible sits upon the shelf
With every promise I could ever need

Chorus:
And the Word was
And the Word is
And the Word will be
And the Word was
And the Word is
And the Word will be

People are getting fit for Truth
Like they're buyin' a new tailored suit
Does it fit across the shoulders
Will it fade when it get's older
We throw ideas that aren't in style
In the Salvation Army pile
And search for something more to meet our needs

Chorus (two times)

I think it's time I rediscover
All the ground that I have covered
Like 'Seek ye first'
What a verse
We are pressed but not crushed
Perplexed but don't despair
We are persecuted but not abandoned

We are no longer slaves
We are daughters and sons
And when we are weak we are very strong
And neither death nor life
Nor present nor future
Nor depth nor height
Can keep us from the love of Christ

And the Word I need
Is the Word that was
That put on flesh to dwell with us

In the beginning...

Chorus

Rather than write more, I think I'll let the song speak for itself. A good reminder to us all that God doesn't change, yet remains relevant yesterday, today and tomorrow. Rediscover or discover Him for yourself...

The Half Way Point

I am officially half way through my radiation treatments now. As the weeks have progressed I have noticed a bit more fatigue, which usually begins to set in mid to late afternoon. For the most part I manage to push through it without much difficulty, but there have been days that I have become "zombie mom" by early evening. I will add that those have been rare, maybe just one or two days. I have managed to get a nap in here and there too, which helps.

The other affect of radiation that I am beginning to notice is skin tenderness. Thus far my skin is just mildly pink. Given my sensitivity to the sun, I really expected to react fairly quickly. Whether due to my being faithful to apply the creams I was given or due to skin reacting differently to radiation X-rays than to the suns rays, I do not know. Now along with that pink tone a slight discomfort has set in. It's very subtle and not extremely uncomfortable. I would liken it to when you have been out in the sun just a bit too long, narrowly escaping a sunburn. Your skin becomes somewhat dry, tight and perhaps the slightest bit sore. This is the closest I can come to describing how I feel at the moment.

I am also pleased to report that I will be receiving a treatment this Saturday morning, which will get me one day closer to completing everything before the end of the year. Although I am thrilled to be able to get this treatment, I also feel a little guilty about it. I spoke with my radiation oncologist this past Monday about whether it looked as though a Saturday treatment would be possible. She encouraged me to check with the technicians each Friday about it and also placed a note regarding this in my file. Yesterday I decided to ask about the possibility of not doing the last two treatments if Saturday treatments weren't possible. I had learned earlier in the week that the final five treatments, rather than treating the whole breast, are more localized to the spot where the tumor was removed. My thinking was that I could stop treatments at number 31, but they could perhaps "bump up" the final five localized ones to treatments 27 - 31 (rather than 29 - 33). Upon checking with the doctor about this, I was told that although they didn't have anyone coming in for emergency treatment this Saturday, they were going to schedule me to come in and do a treatment. I felt more than a little sheepish since it was not my intent to force their hand so-to-speak and said so to the technician. She assured me it wasn't a problem. I have decided I need to just get over it and be thankful for the opportunity.

We have been getting meals at least two times each week from wonderful friends from our Adult Bible Fellowship at church and the rotation of sitters I have in place for our children is going well too. They are having a wonderful time going to play at different places each day for a short while, although I must admit, I will be glad when treatments are complete and there will not be a need to go out each day, especially when the weather turns bad.

I have more on my mind and heart today, but time does not allow for more at the moment...