Twists and Turns in the Road

I find it interesting to reflect on the chain of events or twists and turns in the road we have experienced over this past year. Like a good story, I notice something new each time I think about all that has transpired. And I am amazed and humbled to see how the Creator of all things has worked in my life.

I could easily sit and lament over all the difficulties that have come our way. Industry downturns leading to decreased sales and commissions for my husband in April and May. A flood of epic proportions wiping out his employer and devastating the community around us in June. A decision to move me, temporarily, from group medical coverage to individual short term major medical coverage for a $225 per month savings in June. A struggle to clean up and rebuild in our community over the summer. A diagnosis of breast cancer in September. Not to mention the things of concern going on nationally.

And yet, I'm not (most of the time)fearful. Do I wish we had made some different choices along the way? Sometimes. Knowing what we know now, perhaps we would have made different ones. None of us gets a window to the future and so we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. My one regret would be not seeking wisdom in prayer more often, for even the "little" things. Perhaps we may have made some different choices if we had prayed through them more. Only the Lord knows.

And yet I am grateful for what we are going through. That sounds crazy I know, but we are learning things about God, about ourselves, about those caring for us that we may never have learned another way. For example, one lesson came from a short passage in Micah 5:13b "...you will no longer bow down to the work of your hands." That verse pierced me like an arrow. Honestly, I have always considered us a bit less fortunate in the financial area than many of those around us. While we are extremely wealthy when compared with most of the world, I compared myself with my neighbor and I was envious. Envious of nice vacations, stylish wardrobes, larger homes... Rather than being content with what I do have, I wished for more and was always planning on how we could budget better or work harder to get more. Then our ship would come in and I would be so generous with all that God would bless us with! Reading that verse in Micah as we studied it brought home the realization that I was worshiping the idol of things, the idol of self-effort and the idol of my perceived control instead of worshiping my Creator who is Provider and Sustainer of all things. While I know God does not want me to sit idle, I have a greater understanding that the fact we can pay our bills is because of His faithfulness. He has given us the ability to work and earn an income. He has caused others to give out of their abundance to us. (Because of my pride, that's not always an easy thing to accept.) He has provided my husband's work, our home, our food, our clothing, the ability to breathe... I can't take credit for one iota of it. And that's the way He wants it. The glory is His alone.

As I reflect on my list of twists and turns in our road, I can name a blessing, or many, that have come out of each difficulty. Here are just a few: an awe inspiring outpouring of neighbor helping neighbor and a community coming together, Eight Days of Hope - where over a thousand people came from all over this nation to rebuild homes and lives and to give hope and got nothing monetary in return, the opportunity to share my faith as I walk through this health challenge, being a witness to the greatness of my God and being able to testify to how He has seen us through every trial, dealing with medical billing departments and insurance people not only ethically, but righteously (another lesson from our Adult Bible Fellowship at church)...

And so, while I can't deny that there is some stress and I do wonder how we will manage to stay on top of medical bills along with our other expenses, I also know that the Lord is again showing me His sovereignty, faithfulness and love.